Thanksgiving traditions, then and now
There’s nothing like the start of school, the falling leaves and a wild turkey sighting in the neighbourhood to remind you Thanksgiving is right around the corner.
Reflecting on the Chronicle’s 75th anniversary, I wanted to share what Thanksgiving was like back in 1949.
In my research, I quickly found an American restaurant menu that detailed a veritable feast for $1.80. Seventy-five years ago, dinners were formal, multi-course events where people were incorporating seafood and keen to serve jellied or “molded” fare as well as canned food dishes, since they were a novelty.
I also found the Thanksgiving menu from the U.S. Naval Station at San Diego from 1949 on eBay including the usual turkey, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie, with cigarettes rounding out the meal.
Today’s celebrations reflect our varied and multi-cultural backgrounds, incorporating our favourite recipes alongside or instead of the traditional turkey, cranberry, and pumpkin ingredients. We’ve even adapted the holiday to reflect our realities, like Friendsgiving. Meals are as fancy or as casual as we make them, with some even serving a buffet while everyone cozies up in the living room. We are not bound by tradition, but instead are inspired to make it special in our own way.
However, no matter how unique our celebration may be, some hosting situationsare still bound to come up. To that end, I offer some advice so you can reduce stress and relish the occasion.
Tardiness
If someone is running a little late, you may wish to wait for them. However, it’s not fair to you or your other guests to wait more than 15 minutes to start the meal. So, in the case of extreme tardiness, start eating and just make a plate when the latecomer does arrive.
Kitchen invasion
Trying to get things done in the kitchen but guests are milling about, wanting to help, and chatting you up? I like to ask these guests for favours. “Can you please take this out to the table for me?” You may also consider setting up drinks and nibbles outside the kitchen or enlist a trusted guest to run interference.
Food restrictions
Check in with guests ahead of time and if they offer to bring a dish they are comfortable eating, be gracious and accept.
Extra guests
Say yes if you can, especially if someone doesn’t have any plans. Take inspiration from the Irish proverb that says, “May your home always be too small to hold all of your friends.” Consider taking a page from the pandemic by including someone on video or by dropping food off for another who can’t make it.
Feeling overwhelmed
If life’s challenges and the cost of living have you feeling overwhelmed and stressed, be kind to yourself. Whether that means handing the hosting baton to another, turning the meal into a potluck, or being honest and asking for help. You have every right to enjoy Thanksgiving too.
Family dynamics
What people say and do are out of our control, but you can try to address any potential conflicts ahead of time. Channel calm and peace and remember no family is perfect. Ask another person to help you deal with challenging guests and, if you know unwelcome commentary is likely to make an appearance, prepare an answer in advance to redirect and put an end to it with grace.
Respect an absence
In our enthusiasm for the occasion, we may pressure someone to attend because we think it will be good for them, but we should respect people’s wishes to abstain from the celebration. We can never truly know someone’s personal situation or challenges but reassuring them with understanding, and an open invitation in case they change their mind, can be a comfort. In a situation like this, I might even save some dessert and bring it to them after the fact.
Although Thanksgiving meals are more expensive and less formal than they were 75 years ago, and jellied salads are a thing of the past, the over-arching sentiment of giving thanks is still relevant. Let’s continue to focus our celebrations on creating a bounty of kindness, connection, memories and gratitude, to fill up our heart stores and nourish our mental health.
