Twelve easy steps toward being respectful in the new year

Many people demand it. Some say it must be earned. Others preach that it begins within each of us. Can you guess what I’m referring to?
Respect. Being respectful is one of those things that we “ought” to be, but what does it really mean? How do we do that? These were questions I was recently asked by a bright young person who was looking for specifics on how to show respect. So, in the spirit of the new year and setting intentions for the months ahead, here are 12 specific ways to show respect to those you encounter in your daily life.
- Listen and don’t interrupt. Actively listening to someone and waiting for a natural pause before responding shows you care about what the other person is saying and makes the other person feel heard. It also shows that you are considering their view, and are (hopefully) open to it.
- Follow the rules of civilized society. Let people off the elevator or bus before you get on. Stay to the right when travelling on the escalator. Use your turn signals. Don’t block traffic. Park within the lines. Pick up after your dog and keep them on a leash, unless in a designated off-leash area. Don’t litter.
- Manage your time and honour commitments to avoid being late. I If despite your best efforts something unexpected comes up, let those who will be affected by your tardiness know as soon as possible and apologize for the inconvenience. Their time is valuable too. Furthermore, if you agree to meet someone or attend an event, follow through. People are counting on you.
- Remember your most basic dining etiquette. When sharing a meal with others, chew with your mouth closed and as quietly as possible. Convey food to your mouth, not your mouth to the plate. Take small bites. Don’t gesture with your utensils. Use your napkin.
- Keep personal hygiene private and discreet. Excuse yourself to go blow your nose if you’re with others. Sneeze and cough into your elbow or cover your mouth. Do your make-up, groom your face and file/trim your nails at home, not in public.
- Strive for civility. Whether at school or at work, avoid and condemn gossip, bullying and any –“ism” you encounter with patience, compassion and grace.
- Be a model student. Raise your hand before speaking. Pick up after yourself. Keep your desk neat and clean. Don’t talk back. Listen and sit quietly when the teacher is speaking.
- Be a model family member. Clean up after yourself. Take care of household property and personal belongings. Listen and don’t be argumentative. Avoid yelling and speak calmly. Take responsibility for your actions. Acknowledge and be grateful for things that are done for you.
- Acknowledge those around you. Whether it’s a nod to another driver, a wave to neighbour across the street, a smile to the street affected person asking for change, or a “good morning” as you walk into work, letting people know you see them is essential to respecting them.
- Use the magic words “Please” and “Thank you” to soften requests and interactions. It costs nothing.
- Recognize that everyone is unique, without judgement. Whether it’s physical appearance, clothing, lifestyle, tastes, or beliefs, remember that our unique life experiences shape our views and behaviour and make us who we are.
- Never stop learning. Many people avoid situations because they don’t know what to say or do but that’s no excuse. For example, if you don’t know what to say when someone dies or is sick, look it up. Sometimes being honest and saying, “I’m sorry. I’m not sure what to say”, is better than avoiding people, and will buy you some time to find out what the appropriate thing to say/do is.
Respect will always be an integral part of a civilized society and the actions in this list are free and easy to implement. If we are to co-exist as neighbours, communities, and workmates, we must acknowledge that we are all connected and that our actions have a ripple effect, good or bad. Even if we don’t know everyone in our neighbourhood, community, city and beyond, we can still value each other’s existence, and that is at the heart of being respectful.